Frank Drop lily will you, She is a used cadilac with milage the motor has been turned over twice...

February 1, 2006

This is the first day of the new month. I made it. I am still talking to lily but I have come to accept and let her go.. Yes, this is the best thing and I have realized that she is married and she has her own family today which I don’t want to cause no harm.

It’s over..

I am presently working with Stanley..:

I am just cleaning parts and not really doing anything interesting.. I don’t know what I am doing anymore… I have no love for this, but I have been learning some new stuff, but the issue. Can you really do this any longer? NO, I really don’t think so… so, I must find something else, but I have a lot of work waiting for me.. I have to first finish what I started there is no good thing to just quite this far into the project and he has been surfacing the heads and stuff which I haven’t been paying attention to.. Yes, but I have been tired… The issue is that I need to figure out what I really want… I have learned how to take these things apart and I have gain my strength back.

So, the goal was gain my strength back but I can do this at the gym. Shit, I can get some weights and start trainging again..

4-6 am Google and news..

This morning I started at 5:00 but I did read some stuff and this was good because I had an idea of what was going on, but this was yesterdays news… I think the main goal is now what is happening… Yes, but by 6, I can go and get my work oout..

I love watching the sun come up in the morning but you have to remember later it will be 5:30 am so, lets get ready for 5:30 am which I can still take my exercise… But, the main issue is reading… Yes, this discipline has helped my reading and comprehension… This has been the goal to all this…

I write much better today, but I still have some more learning…

6-7 This is my thinking time to figure out and understand where I am at.. I can spend about 15 minutes here and the rest walking I can do my aikido techniques and stuff, you have to remember don’t waste time…

7-9:30 Starbucks Read your books and L.A.Times.

10-12 Stanley then lunch..

12-3 work..

The main goal for me is to have some physical work and get paid for it.. So, that is the goal… Yes, I have been looking for some physical work which I have found…Well, lets work longer if Stanley is willing to train me and show me this stuff lets do it.. Yesterday was a bad day which I had no go..

Think what happen was that I opened Lily’s email which gave me a lot of energy which I didn’t sleep.. Shit, we must sleep more..

his is really great know lily again but I have accepted she is never going to be mine… shit, that other lady telling me she loves me, that was weired… Well, I need to get out of there and run fast… Yes, there is nothing for me there… Lets change will you..

I have my freedom today what are you going to do with it? Now that is the true question what are you going to do with your freedom..

Yes, I am free… Now the elevator door is open and I can step out…

I am free….

I really feel into the spell of love for 23 years which I always expected her to return but don’t you think this is to long ? Yes, it is and it’s stupid..

Move on with your life… You have it back..

You know that now that I have won, I really don’t care about her.. Yes, that has been the goal to show her, I have no need for her..

Shit, was she trying to set me up with her friend or what? Na, but you have to remember she will always be a friend which she is like sister and nothing more.. I have words ready…

I am going to drop the bomb on Valentimes, yes, I will not write her…Shit, that would be great… I would have shown, well see yea..

Be real Frank why do you want a used cadallic which has it’s motor turned over twice and who knows how many more times… Shit, you have to be real..

You have to move on… shit, you have this thing with to much milage…

You have to move on…

What were you thinking… Yes, accept the present and she isn’t the same….

Grow up Frank…….