Lily erases all my info from her email, what does this mean?

I realized that she erased all my emails.
You have to remember she is married now and she isn't really intrested in you. Yes, she is an old friend which I think something happen. I either made her say something stupid, but you have to remember the last email she sent that said she will see me... Well, I really didn't want to see her.. That is what I wanted her to know..

The only thing I will do now is keep the communication open and that is all I can do. I now have to be honest and live my new life but this time be true to my feelings and not pretend.. I apologyize for my stupid behavior... Yes, I now but again. I don''t want to lose her. I will go to the medical field again and get back on my feet but I know she is alive and well that is all I wanted to know. Yes, this is what makes me really happy knowing she is alive and well...

I know 1983 was a parallel universe that I can never go back to, but realize that this is all you have is today.. Yes, lets grow up..

Lets move on..