Lily dumped me back in 1983... Now, I remember

These last couple of days, I have been feeling great which I found my strength again.. I had a great time remember that time, but I also remember that she dumped me back then.. She was the one who didn't want to talk to me any more.. She ignored me and wouldn't talk to me... I will never forget the isolation and the hurt of being rejected. It was the worst pain that you can have.. I also realized that I had Acne but there was no cure.. I just kept getting worse and worse...
I had no control over acne..

Acne: This was one thing that I had no control over. I washed my face, I tried not sleeping on my face and it just kept getting worse and worse...

I tried Drugs which Erick introduced me to. Yes, this didn't help but make me lazy and stupid.. I then realized I was going no where..
I meet Lilys brother Tony, but I really was more interested in getting high then worry about lily.. Yes, I remember sometimes when I walked out, she was on the porch watching me..
What was she thinking?

When, we meet agian, she said, you were with the stoners...
Yes, because of you...
I should have said that...

Then, we were talking about a tatoo which she said, oh, you got for me? I said no...
She had the balls to say a stupid thing..

I then realized that the drugs and everything wasn't going anywere..

What really saved me was the job at Kaizer hospital.. Yes this changed everything... It made me have schedual and things to do..
I enorolled in school which I attended computer class which we had the big ibm machines back then.. I also enrolled in salesmanship.. I am still a salesman... the teacher was great..
I enrolled in alot of stuff trying to find out what I really wanted to do...

I then worked for steves foreign car parts because I liked cars and more and more, but I had no real direction. Just work..
Sometimes you need just to work to figure things out..]

Today, I am at a much better place because I pretty much understand how things work and I have more confidence which is because of knowing how things work..

This has been the goal all along...

Understanding...

Now, Lily is back and I have open myself up again, but this time, I am the one who is ahead and I am the one who is moving foward.. Now, Keep going don't go back...

She has found her love of her life.... I have nothing...

I don't want to be her default because there is alot of baggage there... Move on now..

Learn more...

I am free..........


Frank Martinez